Good people,
Today, a line has been crossed.
Tis the season for employees to bring in sweets and treats. Given all the recent economic hubbub I don't know if this December will be as intense as last year's 30-days-'til-a-heart-attack junk food feast that was unleashed upon the employees of the Happy Cappy Investment Team. Still, that process is well underway this December.
Someone brought in these marshmellow-truffle things. They had that weird gooey-chewy thing going on dusted in cocoa. And of course someone made a mess since these people can't seem to wipe their own asses without help from others.
Someone must have dropped one on the floor and then someone (or somemany) proceeded to step on it and make coco-mello smudges on the floor.
So reception puts in a call for the building to come clean it up. I go and follow the smudge trail to see wear it leads. The path directs me to the men's bathroom door. So of course the oh so witty jokes coming flying (in case you were wondering the joke each time is that it was shit... ha... ha... ha... ugh).
Well like some horror movie I slowly open the door to see if the trail ends there...it doesn't! I turn the corner...but the smudges continue! Until finally...they lead to...THE FUCKING TOILET!!!
That's right, some grown ass man [at first I called him an asshole and then a piece of shit but that just seemed to confuse the narrative] did this. He cannot, in fact, wipe his own ass without the help of others (you see, that was foreshadowing before). This man actually tracked his own excrement into the kitchen. Amazing.
So of course I mopped it up. Some people were stunned that I would do this filthy task, especially when the cleaning services would be here within the hour. My answer? "There's fucking shit on the fucking floor and it's fucking disgusting."
Seriously, do these people do this at home but have servants waiting on them hand-and-foot so as they don't realize just how disgusting they are?
Time to look into grad school.
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